SUNDAY, MAY 06, 2007 11:49 PM, CDT

We just arrived back from a four-day trip to Oklahoma. The girls had a wonderful time swimming, fishing, going to the zoo and just hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa Schlegel and a ton of my family members. Thank you mom and dad for making it so much fun for them. They had a great time!
Thank you for all of your posts and your prayers. I believe most of the immediate family here--Miss Dean, Kim, Keith and myself--still check the site every day or two. Your encouragement is still very helpful.
God has continued to bless us through this. I am amazed myself at how much strength He has given me personally. I have no doubt in my mind that it is directly related to how well Kristina loved her God, loved her children and loved me. She did life the right way. She had the right perspective on why she was here and she let her actions speak even louder than her sweet, funny and caring words. That's why so many people loved her. That's why, as hard as it was to accept that the Lord wanted her to come home, it was easy to feel hapy for her and to feel secure in where she was going. She will forever be missed but she truly will forever live, both literally (in God's Kingdom) and figuratively (in the minds and hearts of those she touched and taught so well). I am honored to count myself in that group.
Please continue to pray for this family in its decision making in the weeks, months and years to come. By God's grace we'll do fine. But we want to try to please Him in the decisions we make. Pray for us.
In Christ,
John

TUESDAY, APRIL 24, 2007 11:00 PM, CDT

Hope everyone is doing well. God has truly blessed our family. Miss Dean is in a groove in the mom role and is doing an oustanding job. The girls have a great routine going and appear to be very happy.
Make no mistake, Kristina is missed in a huge way. Abby makes a comment every night to me that goes something like this..."Mommy...heaven...with Jesus?" I just keep validating her telling her that this is the case for sure. I also have tender moments with Emily when we're getting ready for bed where she'll ask me questions about Kristina and tell me she misses her.
Kristina's departure has exposed many of my inadequicies. I am not very good at a lot of things that I didn't have to worry about when she was here. I need to trust God more in these areas and just purpose to love Him first and know that He loves me and will not give me more than I can handle with His help. Please continue to pray for me for trust and peace.
I also want to thank those of you who have made such an effort to reach out to my family and me with offers of help in various ways. It means so much to us. I apologize if we have not always responded in the way that we might have before. This is a day by day process and we're just trying to organize things the best we can. Things are simply different now. But your friendship has NOT been taken for granted. We love all of you. Genuine, unconditional love is not something that is easily found. We have experienced it from so many of you and do not take it for granted.
Please continue to pray for us as we continue our journey. I am feeling very strong and healthy right now yet very introspective at times. God is growing me and making me stronger by the day. I just want to make sure that I am quick to give Him all the credit for that and that I please Him with my actions going forward.
In Christ,
John

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18, 2007 12:03 AM, CDT

Thank you to everyone who continues to post on this site. It is so gratifying to see how much lingering impact Kristina's life is having on people. I am so thankful the Lord chose me to share in her journey. She was a special, special woman of God and she left a huge imprint everywhere she went. I have people stop me in stores to tell me how much her journey meant to them. What a testament! We will always miss her but we have the blessed hope of knowing she is where she wants to be right now and that we will DEFINITELY see her again if we are in Christ.
The Lord has started to give me direction in my life. He has shown up for me in a huge way and is answering my prayers in so many areas where I've asked Him for guidance. My journey in my first 34 years has certainly been unique. I've been blessed so mightily even through a great deal of pain at times. Now, slowly but surely, He is starting to light my path to the next steps in the rest of my journey here on earth.
Please pray for me that I will continue to trust Him every step of the way. I cannot tell you how much your concern for our family and your prayers have meant to me.
In Christ,
John

TUESDAY, APRIL 17, 2007 12:56 PM, CDT

Nicole, I will be praying for you and your results. I know you are scared but you sound as if you know who is in control. You will be added to my prayer list at church. Please keep me updated.
Judy Mcguire, I hope I spelled your last name right, your letter was just what I needed. To be able to talk to someone that has lost a sibling would be great. To know that the thoughts I have are normal. Anytime you want to talk give me a call, I'm in the book. Thank you for the letter. I know that was hard. I used to think 2 years was a long time but I know that 2 years without your brother or sister is still painful. Thank you again.
Kae, my calendar is marked. Tell me when and where the yard sale is. My place, Teri's, Mel's? Anywhere is fine with me. I want to advertise a lot!! Sounds like OK is going to be kicking our booties. Thank you Misti!! That sounds like a great idea. Maybe we can sale some pink doughnuts and cookies. If we don't sale them we can always eat them (Teri that's why I will always be your FF!!!!!:)
When is the girls night out?? Name it- anywhere, anytime!!!!
Thank you for your posts. I hope everyone has a great week!!! Kim

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2007 12:36 PM, CDT

It's John. I just wanted to stop in quickly and say that we still check the site and are encouraged by all of your posts.
Kristina has been in the presence of our Lord for almost two months now. Hard to believe. But to her it seems like no time at all
Praise God that He delivers on His promises. I look forward to seeing those golden streets as well when the Lord is ready to call me home. And I look forward to embracing my dear sister on that day.
In Christ,
John

SUNDAY, APRIL 08, 2007 02:36 PM, CDT

Hey everyone!! It's Kim!! Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. I have not been near a computer!! Claire, I hope everyone is doing great at your house!! Mel, anytime for a girls night out!! I'm in need of one!!
John, I hope you get home safe. These girls miss you!! We are having a fun time though!!
I was dreading this Easter because it is the first holiday without Kristina but when I woke up, I felt a peace because I am celebrating that Jesus died for me and Kristina is celebrating with Jesus because He died for her. How amazing!! She will spend every holiday with Him Forever!! They will be hard without her. I know Macy's birthday will be hard because Kristina missed her 3rd b-day because it was her 1st chemo treatment and I was still hanging decorations when guests were arriving. I kept saying "don't tell Kristina" well I told her anyway and she said "I will be there next year" Well she tried in every way but it wasn't up to her. I will continue to be sad, but everyday is getting better as long as I can just picture her rejoicing beside our Heavenly Father. Thank you Lord for saving my sister and for saving me so one day I to will be with You!! I love you all!! I will continue to post as much as I can!! Usually on Tuesdays and Thursdays!! I love to read your posts also!! Hope everyone has a Happy Easter!!

FRIDAY, MARCH 30, 2007 10:18 PM, CDT

Hello to everyone!! Claire, I hope you guys are able to come home real soon. My prayers are still with you. I'm glad everything is still going as planned.
Thank you Angela Brandon for watching Macy and staying 2 hours at Mickey D's!!
Mom, the girls, and I went out to eat and Wal-Mart. We just got home. Abby is already asleep. I'm spending the night with mom since John is in Texas. I guess you could say we are having a girls night out well until Jonathan gets home!! Thanks Keith and Jenni for taking Kayla and Jonathan out. The girls would of had fun too!!
I've had lots of emotions this week. None to nice either. I guess I'm in the angry stage of grief this week. Is that a stage? I just don't understand why my sister had to get cancer and die. Why my mom had to bury her daughter? WHY? WHY? WHY? I'm not suppose to ask that but I would love to know the answer. I just miss her so much. I'm really having to stop what I'm doing several times during the day and just say I'm sorry Lord for having these feelings and asking why. I feel better when I do that but that doesn't stop me from feeling the same way later on in the day. I just have to trust that this to will pass and bitterness will not remain in my heart. The tears will fall for many years but I trust in Him to make this void in my heart smaller. I know it will never go away but it will get smaller. I love the Lord, I know Kristina is with Him rejoicing and I know I will be there with her someday. In a blink of an eye to her. I just love her and miss her dearly. The thought of not having her to call and talk to scares me. I just wish I could talk to her one more time. But then I know I would wish for one more time. Sorry to be so yucky but my brother told me to be truthful about my feelings when I journal so there it is. The shock has just worn off and reality has hit. Writing it all down really helps. Maybe I should keep a private journal. Well, you all know I'm the opposite of my sister, I lay it all out on the table. Nothing is private with me. I don't know if that's good or bad.:) I know what I'm feeling is normal. I will just trust in God to get me through this.
Thank you for your posts! I really love to read them. Having pictures of Kristina is "therapy" for Keith, this site is "therapy" for me!!
Kim

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2007 09:15 AM, CDT

Claire, Kyle, and Edie, I am lifting you up in prayer right now. I posted on the guestbook and then thought why didn't I post on the journal, so letting you know I am thinking about you all.
Teri, what can I say FF. You are great!! I know about the 60 miles. It's not that we CAN'T do it we just choose to stick with the Making Strides Walk. Right!! Hee Hee!! Kae, I'm so glad you agree with me!!
Mom, you are doing a GREAT job. I love you very much!!
Hope everyone has a great day.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 28, 2007 11:03 AM, CDT

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST FOR EDIE FREDERICK:
Dear Friends,
Claire just called with an update on Edie and a need for prayer. Edie's heart rhythm has been thrown out of sync again and as a result, she is back on the pacemaker. Claire said that it is called "Heart Block" and that it is pretty serious. (she gave me specific info on the details of this, but I didn't understand it fully - nor do I remember all the technical terms to fully explain it to each of you...sorry)
Please pray specifically for the cardiology team that is about to meet with Edie and family. Claire and Kyle are especially concerned and need His peace and comfort. Thank you in advance for your prayers and support of this precious family!
In His love,
Stephanie

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 28, 2007 06:57 AM, CDT

This is John. Claire sent the update below regarding Edie yesterday afternoon. Kim, I FEEL your pain. Love you sis.
EDIE UPDATE:
Hey everyone,

Just wanted to supply another update regarding Edie. First of all, thanks be to God who hears our prayers and answers them! Secondly, thanks go out to everyone who has kept us close in heart and mind this week. We love all our friends and family and don't know what we'd be doing without you guys.

Edie has had a very good day. They took her off the ventilator at around 11:30 last night. Over the course of the day they have removed several of her arterial lines, the IV in her neck, her bladder catheter, and she is looking soooo much better without all the "stuff" hooked up to her. She sat up in bed this morning and said, "I'm thirsty; I'm ready to get down." But of course that did not happen (the getting down part.) They have kept her very comfortable today with Morphine and Tylenol, and she has been in and out of sleep most of the day. This has allowed Kyle and I to catch up on our sleep with several naps and we are feeling much better. She has had several sips of water and a few Teddy Grahams, but not a significant intake of food. If everything continues in this positive direction, she will probably be moved out of ICU tonight and into a private room on the 6th floor. With any luck, we should be coming home Friday or Saturday.

Please continue to hold us up in prayer. It has sustained us this week, along with the love and well wishes from everyone. Have a great evening!

Claire Davidson Frederick
Further update from Kyle:
Dr. Liske just ran electrical test (up to 200 bpm) and Edie passed with flying colors. This is very good news. Could be home by Sunday.
PRAISE GOD!!!!!

TUESDAY, MARCH 27, 2007 07:55 AM, CDT

Praise God for Edie!! Claire and Kyle, you guys have been on my heart so much and I'm so glad to hear the surgery went well. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers throughout the healing process.
Thank you to Nicole Dorris for talking with me on Sunday. There was a reason you were running late. Sunday's lesson was tough. It was the first time since Kristina's passing that I had to leave class, so I'm so glad you were there to listen and to talk with me. Thank you again.
Keith, I'm so proud of you. When we talk on the phone I don't want to hang up. You make things that are stressing me out seem not so bad. Thanks!! I'm so glad to have you to talk to!! Although I would have talked to Kristina 2-3 times a day, 1-2 times a week with you lets me have peace about things and I appreciate that so much. Not that I don't want to talk to you 2-3 times a day, it's just that you say everything I need to hear in 1 two hour phone call (and I know you need your nap). I love you so much. Thank you for just being who you are.
Kristie, thank you for a wonderful party. Like John said, it was a little bitter sweet. It's hard not to think how much Kristina would have enjoyed that. I have to keep reminding myself that what she is enjoying right now is far better than anything down here. I just miss her so much and just wish I had more time. There's so many days I think I need to call Kristina and it just stings when I realize I will never be able to call her again. I have all of these feelings. Some I can't even explain. Just that it hurts more than anything. I want her advice again, her encouragement that she always gave. I miss everything about her. I don't want to ask why but I do and just can't understand why she had to die. I was just starting to get crazy with grief until I looked down and saw my Sunday School lesson in front of me and looked down to a verse that says "Everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die-ever. Do you believe this?" John 11:26 See, every time I start to get angry, God always puts something in front of me to let me know this was HIS plan. I don't have to understand it, just believe it and I do. Kristina is not dead, she is alive and happy and feeling no pain. Thank you God. Thank you for always being there for me. Even times when I feel alone, I know you never leave me.
Kae, I will be at the Making Strides Walk. I can do 5 miles but I don't know about 60. Thank you for the encouragement though. I need all the help I can get!!!
I hope everyone has a great day. Thank you for the prayers. Thanks for the posts. They are great.
Kim

MONDAY, MARCH 26, 2007 03:57 PM, CDT

This is John. Please keep Edie Frederick and her mom and dad Kyle and Claire in your prayers. They are great friends of ours and brothers and sisters in Christ. Edie had her surgery today. Here is a note from Claire:
Edie's temporary pacemaker has been un-hooked. Her heart is pacing itself successfully now! Our prayers have been answered. Please continue to petition our Lord that her recovery will continue right on track. There is still a chance that the rhythm of the heart could be interrupted again, but if it happens this time, it is almost certainly because of swelling and would be a temporary interruption. Dr. Christian is ecstatic that her natural rhythm has come back on its own. Thank you guys for everything!

Love,
Claire

SUNDAY, MARCH 25, 2007 09:28 PM, CDT

This is John. Thank you to everyone who continues to pray for us, encourage us and post on this website. Your impact is being felt.
I too was moved by Keith's journal entry. As I've said before, there is no "in-law" in my relationship with him. He is the brother that I have always wanted. He is strong and growing rapidly in Christ. I love him dearly and can't wait to become even closer to him. We have a bond that cannot be broken. Love you bro!
Thank you to Kristina's Watertown friends who have now become mine. Kathy, you are a talented, lovely woman who reminds me so much of Kristina in terms of your attention to detail and your devotion to your children. Christy, you are a fantastic mother and wife. You are so funny and easy going. I can see why you always made Kristina smile. You have the same affect on me. Marc, you are a solid, solid guy. I'm really happy I know you and am always encouraged when I'm around you. I'm hoping to get to know the rest of you better as well. That was a great time at Hannah's birthday party the other day although it was probably the most difficult afternoon since Kristina's passing in many ways. Miss Dean and I both struggled greatly watching life go on amidst all of Kristina's closest friends. Don't get me wrong, it was great to see you guys enjoying life and loving your families. It just made us long for ours to be back together. We know that the family we knew will never be back together just as it was here on earth. That is simply not God's will. But we do look forward to finding out what He has in store for us next.
The girls are adjusting very well. That can pretty well be chalked up to God's grace and Miss Dean. What an incredible lady she is. She loves these girls so much. It is easy to see where Kristina picked up her work ethic and overwhelming devotion to those she loves. She did not fall far from the tree in that department. It's like I lost Luke and got Yoda to come down to take his place! I know you Star Wars fans will appreciate that analogy! :-)
I was told by someone that lost his wife to the same disease that I would be fine for the first month due to the covering of grace God would give me and the momentum from all of the well-wishers that would flood me in those first weeks. Then, he said, it would get very real and very painful for the next several weeks. Well, no two situations are ever exactly alike but I must say that he has a point. I think when it comes down to it, the fact that everyone has just done what they should do and started to get on with their lives has made it very real. That doesn't mean it's a desperate or hopeless feeling. It just means it feels like God poking us on the shoulder after rubbing our backs for a while in consolation and saying, "Okay guys...let's get up and get going again." That's hard.
Because I know God is not finished with me, I cannot help but be curious if not a bit excited to see what He has in store for me next. I do want to serve Him diligently. I do want to do what He wants me to do with my time, talent and treasure. It's hard to find the motivation for it at times right now but I know that this is just a result of the fall--"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." I certainly CANNOT do the things He wants from me in my own power so I'm not sweating it too much. I'm just trying to get more consistent with my Bible reading and get back into the swing of facilitating the college Sunday School class at church and then waiting for instruction.
Please pray for discernment for me as I have hundreds of thoughts go through my mind of what might or might not be right for the girls and me in the coming months. I love and appreciate all of you so much.
In Christ,
John

SATURDAY, MARCH 24, 2007 03:19 AM, CDT

Hi everyone, Keith here. Stina was diagnosed with cancer June 19th, 2006, and less than 8 months later, she was gone. She went so fast and I miss her so much. I just want to pick up the phone and call her or go to her house and see her big toothy smile. In the last few days of her life, I prayed for God to take her. Now I'd give my very life just to hold her hand again, if only for a while. I thank God she led me to Christ before she died. Without the knowledge that I'll see her again in heaven, I believe this pain would be unbearable. It's almost impossible to talk about Stina and not mention Christ. And knowing her as I did, I know Hewould be the very thing she'd want the focus to be on. Before I came to know Christ, but was beginning to seek him, Stina witnessed to me often. A particular email stands out in my mind; she wrote, "I want to know my big brother in Glory." Thanks to her example of faith, and God's grace, she will know me in glory. And like the song says, "What a day of rejoicing that will be!" I've been going to my Uncle David's church and am truly enjoying his sermons. How bitter sweet, the very person I'd love to share these things with, is gone. As I look back at the time between June 19th, 2006 and Feb 14th, 2007, it seems like the blink of an eye. I look forward to the day when the time between Feb 14th, 2007, and when I'm kneeling in His direct presence, will seem like the blink of an eye as well.

TUESDAY, MARCH 20, 2007 10:23 PM, CDT

Hello to everyone. It's Kim. Another hard day. I hope this gets easier. I can not be by myself for even a minute. I just lose it. I took Macy and Emily to the zoo yesterday. We went with my friend Jeannie and her son Phillip. What a great day that was. It was beautiful. They had a lot of fun. They were worn out last night though. The fussing was on!! They are really sweet with each other normally. I love having Emily. Abby is not going to have me leaving her to much longer. I would love to take her also, but mom gets to just spend time with her so she's not getting left out to much. She gets all the attention when Emmy is not there!! She loves that.
Claire, do not worry about the music. You have a lot on your plate right now. I will get it sometime.
Steph, I hope you raise all kinds of money for the 3 day walk. I was just scared you were going to ask me to walk it. Whew!! I don't know if I could do that. To the ones that do--WONDERFUL!! You will all have my prayers!! Whatever I can do to help with that walk, just ask!! If you all need me to walk it, oh me, I guess I will just have to get in gear. How many months (years!!) do we have?!!
Hope everyone has a great day. Please continue to lift this family up in prayer. We all struggle daily with the loss of Kristina. I really think I'm still in shock. I can't believe it. Please continue to pray for healing, strength, comfort, and peace. Have a great day!!

FRIDAY, MARCH 16, 2007 03:09 PM, CDT

One month and two days in heaven for our precious Kristina! I would say "I hope you're having a great time sweetie," but that would be a rhetorical comment. She is experiencing God is His full glory now. She is having a GREAT time!
We miss her so much but we also rejoice for her. She is now settled into her new imperishable environment and is completely comfortable and secure. I can only imagine what sort of sweet fellowship she must be experiencing. I look forward to the day I will be there too. Love you sweetie!
Emily and Abby are doing extremely well. Emily is still mothering Abby and Nana is still doing a FANTASTIC job with them. Miss Dean and I are getting really close which has been great. She is a rock and she is in this for the long haul. I am so inspired by Kristina's family's commitment to not just our kids but to me personally. I love them dearly and count it a blessing to know them.
Keith, what can I say, Kristina said she would go through this all again to see you come to Christ. We won't know until we reach glory just how much of her struggles were related to God's work in you. But I definitely know that God used Kristina's walk through this illness to impact your soul. I am so thankful, and I promise you brother she is too, that you are in the family of God now. Please do not look at this as something that was your fault by any means. God ultimately took Kristina's physical life--no one else. And He did it when He wanted to. He etched February 14, 2007 in the books for Kristina before the foundation of the world. She lived her life well. She suffered well. She loved well. She entered glory very, very well. I am proud of her and always will be. What a blessing it was to be married to her.
God is really working in my heart right now--giving me great perspective on Kristina's present, not just her past. She is indeed living like never before. She IS where she wants to be and if she could speak with us she would tell us that. I know that because as great as we may have been for her, God is better. If I was a great Godly husband, I was simply a model to the King of Kings. At my best I could never hold a candle to the bridegroom who holds her and keeps her now. She is LITERALLY walking in the presence of Her Lord Jesus. What a fantastic thought! So be sad when it's time to be sad. Cry when it's time to cry. But NEVER be discouraged and NEVER despair over Kristina.
She did everything she could to convince others (through her actions and words) that they needed to come with her to where she is going...that they needed to be reconciled to their offended God through the blood of Jesus Christ only. Now her work is done. She received the reward. She is experiencing eternal life. The call still remains though. Don't wait to settle your account with God. Understand who you are in relation to Him. Understand that you've offended Him through your inherited and personal sin and that this sin separates you from Him forever both physically and spiritually. Then ask for forgiveness of this sin and thus reconciliation to God unto eternal life both spiritually and physically. There is only ONE way to do this. That is to accept the only permanent and perfect sacrifice that has ever been made available--the death, burial and ressurrection of God's only begotten Son Jesus Christ as full atonement for your sins. Accept this sacrifice, turn from your sins and follow Christ all the days of your life. That's not easy for some of you to hear but it is simply the truth. It is reality. The changed hearts and actions of those who have embraced it provide the proof.
Thank you all for your continued encouragement and support. Keep posting. We read them several times a day.
In Christ,
John

THURSDAY, MARCH 15, 2007 09:52 AM, CDT

Hey!! It's Kim!! I just love journaling because I get to fix my mistakes and the other day there was alot of them. I put that I was "thanking" of Kyle, Claire, and Edie, after I had already posted it, but got to go in and change it. Steph, I know you appreciate that!! lol!
Claire, I am so sorry that Edie was not able to have her surgery yesterday. You guys have been on my heart since I heard that little Edie had to have surgery, but the way you are handling it is amazing. God is so GOOD!! I will continue to lift your precious family up in prayer.
Teri, I just love you!! You are so funny!! I miss her too!! I think about you, Steph, and Mel because y'all are feeling what I'm feeling. She was y'all's sister too. She loved you guys to pieces and I can understand why. You are all great!!
Thank you Kristie Cantrell for putting flowers on Kristina's tombstone. They are so bright and beautiful just like her. I finally got the nerve up to go to her gravesite. I know she's not there but seeing her name on a tombstone with a birth date and a death date hurts really bad. I sat down and said "why did you have to die" like she had a choice, but looked at her tombstone and saw her verse "I shall not die but live" and realized she is living more than she ever has. I got up told her I loved her and left feeling sad but knowing that everything is going to be ok. When I feel like I'm going insane with grief, a friend will stop by or the phone will ring or Macy will do or say something funny and I know God is with me and will not let me lose my mind. He will not give me more than I can handle. I will forever keep her memory alive. It helps me to talk about her, laugh about her and also cry about her. I just love her and want everyone to know her and know how she showed me strength and love for her God during her weakest moment. She left a beautiful legacy, one that I will share with everyone!!
Shanti, I do not know you but will definitely keep you posted about the yard sale. We need everyone!!
ABC check is not working, I hope everything is right!! Steph, will you check things out for me? HEE HEE
Thank you for the posts. Hope everyone has a great day.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2007 03:37 PM, CDT

It's John. I want all of you to remember my next-door-neighbors and dear friends in Christ, Kyle and Claire Frederick and their precious daughter Edie in your prayers. Here is an update from Claire regarding their daughter's pending open-heart surgery:
First of all, we would just like to thank everyone who has been praying for
Edie this week and in the weeks prior to this one.

However, we want to let everyone know that her heart surgery has been
postponed. The Vanderbilt PICU has been overrun in the past few days with
critical cases, and there simply were no beds available in the Intensive
Care Unit for her to recover in. Her situation is urgent and does need to
be attended to, but Praise God that her condition is not critical and
therefore it’s possible for us to wait on treating her for a couple more
weeks. Her surgery has been rescheduled for March 30, 2007, unless a slot
becomes available sooner. We are mindful today of the transplant that
took place yesterday at Vanderbilt and also of the child who was being flown
in from East Tennessee today in critical condition. These children
obviously need the beds more than she does and by all means, we want these
precious souls to have them. We are truly blessed to live so close to this
amazing facility and do not count it a hardship to have been turned away
today. Everything will happen in God’s timing. We hope that you will
continue to keep her in your prayers while she awaits treatment.

Thank you for your friendship and love,

Kyle and Claire Frederick

TUESDAY, MARCH 13, 2007 08:03 AM, CDT

Hello everyone!! It's Kim!! Thanks John for letting me journal! What a tough week. There have been so many times that I have wanted/needed to talk to Kristina but as she would say, this is my reality I don't have her to talk to. I miss her so much but I know I will see her again. She is the happiest she has ever been and that makes me happy. She has JOY!!
Thank you to Lora Stutts for talking with me. Lora lost her mom in October 2005 unexpectedly and has told me a year helps the pain. A year seems so far away but I am finding as each day goes by it does get easier although some days are tougher than others. Being with the girls helps me so much. They are just precious!!
Teri, it doesn't matter whose house we have it at although I sold more at the first yard sale so Watertown kicked some bootie!!! Sorry Mel, I had to put that in. Seriously I don't care where we have it just as long as we raise a LOT of money for this ugly disease. Kae, thanks for taking over again WHATEVER you need let me know!!
Thanks Keith for the 2 hour talk Sunday night. As sad as it is that we lost Kristina it has brought this family closer and I am very thankful for that. Love ya big brother!!
Steph, Teri, Mel, and Claire we are going to have to get together soon. Claire, you, Kyle, and Edie are in my thoughts and prayers. I know it will be a while before Edie can get out but as soon as she can we will be ready. What time is her surgery? I will be thinking about you all and praying tomorrow for fast recovery and NO pain.
Daniel, Claire, Steph, Teri, Mel,and I think David (who sang I bow on my knees) I never got to tell you all what an awesome job you did when you sang at Kristina's memorial. WOW!! That was great!! And to everyone who said precious words about Kristina. I don't know how you all got up there without completely losing it!! It was amazing!! It was a precious time and will always be treasured in my heart.
Thanks again for the posts!! Keep it up!! We will also!! Hope everyone has a great week!!

TUESDAY, MARCH 06, 2007 09:56 PM, CST

Please pray for my brother in Christ David Hale and his family. His mother just joined Kristina in heaven after a 7-year battle with cancer. While she is happier than ever before we still hurt. David will need your prayers.
Today was tough. I just seem to be getting real with myself more and more each day. It's good and extremely difficult at the same time. Bottom line is I just miss Kristina. My kids miss her. She was a rock in this family. She worked with the girls constantly and wanted so badly to lead them to Christ. I loved being with her so much. A lot of people have a take on what I should or should not do right now. I'm not sure on any of it. I just know that there's no way to avoid hurting right now. It's just a season for it. Bottom line.
I am excited about moving forward but I'll need to put God first in everything I do or nothing will work. Matthew 6:33 has never been more real for me. It's HARD right now to truly seek first the Kingdom but I want to and I must. And by God's grace I WILL!!
Thank you Matt Van Hoorwegee (sp?) for encouraging me today. I look forward to getting to know Sarah and you better.
Thank you to Matt Bradshaw for stepping up for me in the past few weeks. Same thing for Daniel Williams. Same thing for Kyle Frederick. You guys are my rocks here in Mount Juliet. Couldn't be doing this without you.
I look forward to seeing what God is going to do with my girls, Miss Dean and me in the next few days. Each day seems like a totally different challenge.
Thank you as usual for all of your prayers, posts and other encouragement.
In Christ,
John

MONDAY, MARCH 05, 2007 08:21 AM, CST

This is Kristina's 20th day in heaven. We miss her. Yesterday we had a birthday party for Kim and Kerry. It was difficult because the entire family was over. Kristina's abscence was really felt.
Thank you to everyone who continues to pray diligently. And remember to hug your spouse and children extra tight!
In Christ,
John

THURSDAY, MARCH 01, 2007 10:49 AM, CST

Please pray for Hogan family. I was just forwarded an e-mail from the husband, Gary, indicating that his 32-year-old wife Cindy has been diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer and her chances of survival are not high. She just miscarried at 3 months and now they know why. They have a 5-year-old son named Michael. This obviously hits very close to home for me. Please lift this family up in your prayers. I believe they are saved.
In Christ,
John

THURSDAY, MARCH 01, 2007 01:28 AM, CST

It was great to be back at church tonight. The Lord is showing me a lot of grace these past couple of days. I had a chance to listen to a few Tommy Nelson sermons from 1 Peter on the way to Myrtle Beach which have really helped me to feel so comfortable about Kristina right now. There is simply no question that she is enjoying herself right now. There is no question she has no pain, no sorrow, no remorse, no struggles. She is AT HOME with her Lord. Praise God! This has really helped me to feel okay to begin the remainder of my journey on this earth. Kristina has run the race and won. She is safely home. I envy that a lot and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to go with her. But that simply was not God's will for my life so I will trust Him.
I do not know what He has in store for me but I will do my best to listen and watch carefully and prayerfully. Please pray for my discernment and for my careful attention to God's promptings in my life. One thing I know for sure needs to be a huge part of it is a steady diet of His Word and interaction with His people. I'd like to get started back in discipleship as quickly as I can. I am so enthusiastic about that endeavor. I love what God has done with Matt Bradshaw as he leads some 15-20 men each Tuesday morning at Panera Bread Company in Mount Juliet. That is the heart of God!!! Thanks for your example Matt. I'm not sure in what capacity God will use me to disciple but I know it's His will for me to do it.
God's people and His house are so uplifting. Seeing all of those faces in there tonight ready to praise Him and thirsting for His direction made me happy. I do not want to stay sad because, again, Kristina simply IS NOT sad right now. It is not a fairy tale. It is not a hoax. The same Holy Spirit that indwelt Kristina and worked through her for powerful change in the lives of countless people really did seal her and really did ensure that she would go to the New Jerusalem where she most certainly dwells now. It's hard to be negative about that when you really think about it. Don't get me wrong, I have some very tough moments. More than I'd like to even think about. But by God's grace I will do my best to let the joy that comes with knowing Christ be evident in my walk.
Thank you so much to all of the people who have been bringing food. Thank you to Daniel for giving so graciously of your time to hang out with me tonight. What a great time! Thank you to Kyle and Matt for your recent sacrifices as well. I can't leave out my main man Corb in Dallas and Chris Doke in Norman. Trent, Rusty, Bryson, Berto, John A., JT, Joel, Doug Scott, Jeff Hoemann, Steve Kemper, Javed Bhaghani...the list goes on and on of those men who have and continue to give of themselves to make sure that I am uplifted and loved.
I also want to say a special thanks to those people who came up to me at the basketball game the other night in Watertown to tell me they've been praying for me. That was humbling.
Kristina would be so pleased to know that all of you have stuck in there with our family after her graduation into heaven. As is well documented now, she cared so much more for others than she did for herself. So many of you have displayed that same characteristic of late in your generosity and kindness toward us and I won't forget it.
In Christ,
John